Sifting through Crisis
If you missed our first online event or would like a recap, you can listen to the audio here but first here is a note from my guest, Rachel B. Goldman:
Thank you to everyone who attended Women at Work’s first virtual event on September 24, 2020, entitled “Sifting through Crisis”. I enjoyed meeting all of you and I hope the conversation left you feeling more supported and with insights about what is and is not important to you. As Ginna reminded us and to quote Glennon Doyle, author of the book Carry on Warrior, “the Greek root of the word crisis is “to sift,” as in to shake out the excesses and leave only what’s important. That’s what crises do. They shake things up until we are forced to hold on to only what matters most. The rest falls away.”
We are indeed facing multiple crises during this unprecedented time. Our mindset in the midst of crisis directly impacts our health, decision-making, relationships, effectiveness at work, and more. We can choose to embrace crisis as a gift or view it as a curse.
Similarly, when faced with challenges in a relationship, we have choices. We can choose to run from conflict, engage in a blame game, or view a conflict or communication challenge as a wake-up call, a blinking light letting us know that something needs to shift, and an opportunity to grow, both individually, and within the relationship. Easier said than done, especially when our lives are surrounded by crisis, uncertainty, and upheaval.
Below are some communication tips my clients have utilized in their personal and professional lives that you may find helpful when hitting a bump or a crisis in a relationship:
BREATHE DEEPLY, especially on the exhale. Breathing deeply reduces the cortisol level in our bodies, also known as the “stress hormone”, enabling us to think more clearly, slow down, and better manage our emotions.
Identify the source of the conflict or misunderstanding using neutral language.
Practice active listening – GET CURIOUS.
Refrain from blame – use “I” statements and pair them with behavior.
Never say never or always.
Restate what you heard and ask whether your restatement is accurate.
Take stock of what’s really important to you and what you can let go of.
Brainstorm options for resolution.
We are certainly living through stressful times. It is vitally important to remember that we have a choice about how we get through this and who we want to be when we get to the other side. Staying connected, supporting, and learning from one another is more important now than ever.
Learn more about Rachel at www.rbgoldmanconsulting.com