A Practice For The New Year

At the end of each year, I have a simple practice. Looking back, what did I learn?  Looking ahead, what do I want for myself this coming year?  

This year the practice took longer than most to get clear about what I want from this coming year. What started as looking for a year of ease, fun, and self-care has become much more specific and engaging and feels like it is coming from a deep place of desire rather than fueled by a never-ending sea of shoulds. 

A couple of months ago, when visiting my favorite neighborhood pharmacy, I spotted a card game that called out to me, What Do I Really Want To Achieve?  Now, being a coach, these types of games or books have always interested me. This desire to get to know myself better drew me to coaching in the first place because that is what I do. I help my clients get to know themselves better to understand their desires and weaknesses so that they can develop a system and strategy to maximize fulfillment and avoid strain, drain, and burnout.  

Well, the game sat on a shelf in my kitchen for a month or two before I even attempted to open the box, and looking back now, I can see why. I am a person who prides myself on being fast. I learn quickly, work through tasks at a pace that can be hard to keep up with, and even in the fast-paced city of NY, walk faster than most. But this strength of moving fast has a dark side, as all strengths do, and one of the downsides is that I don't always want to make time to read directions. I want things to be organic and take less time, so I just picked a card when I first opened the box. The card read, "Less Sulking," and I thought, ok, but what does that have to do with what I really want to achieve? So I put the card back in the box and placed the box back on the shelf. That was until a few days ago when I was ready to do it right, meaning I read the directions.  

The cards are color-coded by category, family, love, money, work, meaning, self, friendship, leisure, and mood. There are also several blank cards for you to fill in yourself. As I read the directions and began to work through the first exercise, something felt off. The instructions guided me to pick a certain amount of cards from each category. However, the limitations of how many to choose per category felt wrong. So I did what I encourage all of my clients to do. Instead of trying to fit myself into the box created by the instructions, I decided to take what worked for me and throw out the rest. And so, as I sifted through the cards and read the words on each one, I took note of the ones that caused butterflies to begin fluttering in my stomach. Those cards went into a separate pile. 

When I have engaged in this practice of looking back and then looking forward in the past, I have chosen three things to focus on. But this year, my rule of three no longer seemed to apply. And as my pile of cards grew, so did a feeling of warmth in my chest, indicating that I was on the right path.  

Here is what is on my list.

  • enjoying the small pleasure of life

  • less drinking

  • learning to love my body more

  • better diet 

  • wasting less money

  • more small pleasures

  • more daydreaming

  • a quiet life

  • less perfectionism

  • more time alone

  • saying no to more events

  • more creativity

  • Reading more 

  • more culture

  • cooking more

  • less screen time

  • more walks at dusk

  • more wonder

  • be mroe present / in the moemnt

  • less shame 

and I added these two

  • write more

  • more yoga

As I read through the list, I recognized these are all things that have been deeply important to me for some time but have perhaps been covered up by the list of shoulds that I drag around like an overloaded sack of coal. I realize I abandon my desires when getting more recognition, success, money, and, let's face it, plain old more, have seemed like a more important focus than having a balanced, healthy, and magical life. 

So what will this look like in practical terms? For the past several years, I have been so focused on work that I have forgotten about the things I used to enjoy. And so, when I did have time off, I would not know what to do with it. So this year, I am experimenting with the idea of widening my lease away from just work and trusting that as I layer more into my life, that excites me and fills me up that everything, including work, will feel better. It will look less like forcing and chasing after things and more like trusting my gut, following what feels right, challenging old beliefs, questioning the status quo, and discovering what works and does not for me. It looks like taking a wine-tasting class, finally learning how to make fresh pasta, and learning a new language. It means being willing to be more vulnerable, taking risks, and having more time to myself to dream, wander and read. 

Part of this experiment, or maintaining and achieving any goal, is about having a system of accountability and support. That system will look like working with a coach and writing blog posts cataloging my experience ~ Where do I succeed, and where do I fail?  And I know I need this support system because even as I write this now, I can feel the skepticism rising from my belly.  I mean, can this really work?  Can I really trust myself this much?  As I coach, I recognize these thoughts as the doubts that come up for many of us when we attempt to create change and live as Creative Renegades. They stem from fear, and fear is not a place where I want to be making decisions from.  

So if you also long for change, to understand yourself better, and to trust yourself above all else, why not join me in this experiment? What do you have to lose? What do you have to gain?

Click here to schedule a free discovery call.  

Ginna Christensen