WHY Matters More Than HOW
The intersection of brand storytelling and leadership begins with the first principle of leadership, which is WHY matters more than HOW. When we lead from this perspective, we can increase satisfaction both for ourselves and our teams. We see an increase in creativity and innovation, and it gives us a guidepost for intentional decision-making, the products we want to develop, and the services we offer.
Now, I have to admit that I am incredibly passionate about this principle, and the reason is that I have seen and experienced its power throughout my career. I have not always been a coach, and before becoming a coach, I worked in fashion and interior design for over 23 years. And I held every position from salesperson to manager, from marketer and creative director to chairwoman of the West Hollywood Design District. And even though I had fantastic opportunities to work for companies like Giorgio Armani, I was utterly miserable for the first 13 years of my career. Looking back now, it is easy for me to see that what caused my misery was a lack of why. I had no why to guide my decisions, so I listened to what other people told me I should do and moved through my early career without a road map, vision, or direction, accepting whatever dropped in my lap. On top of that, most of the companies I worked for did not clearly share their why's with me. When we don't feel a connection to our why our purpose, mission, and vision, our work tends to feel like a struggle, a chore, it feels devoid of meaning, so we lack a sense of fulfillment and happiness.
In 2011 I hit a breaking point. I was working in the rug business and had launched my own boutique rug company, 27 Ground. I took this action because I thought my work would automatically be filled with meaning and purpose by starting my own company, but I was wrong. So I began digging because I knew that I did not want to go through the rest of my career feeling this way. So with the help of books like Start with Why by Simon Sinek and Seth Godin's The Icarus Deception. I became proactive about uncovering my why rather than just waiting for it to appear magically.
I grew up in Brooklyn, NY and I am the daughter of two entrepreneurs. My mother owned a dancing school that we lived above, and so every day after school, I would change out of my school uniform and go down to the dancing school. When my mother's school was closed in the summers, she would bring me into Manhattan for professional dance class, where I danced beside broadway stars and people I saw on TV. I was the only child in the class, and the amount of freedom, expression, and confidence I felt when in that class was a gift that I am so happy I had the chance to experience. But one day, when I was about seven, I was dancing around in my mother's dancing school while she listened to records, she suddenly turned off the music. And with a severe look on her face, she walked towards me. She kneeled, looked me in the eye, held me by the shoulders, and began to speak. And as she spoke, she turned me to face a Harvey Edwards poster that hung on the wall of the dancing school. The poster was of a ballerina mid-plie and standing in fifth position. She wore maroon-colored legwarmers torn in several places, and her ballet slippers looked as if they were being held together with duct tape. And my mother said,
"You are never to be a dancer. If you become a dancer, you will never have enough money for food. You won't have enough money for rent. You won't even have enough money for a decent pair of ballet slippers."
This message started young, and it continued through my time in high school and college and became less about dancing and more about being practical. And I know that my parent's hearts were in the right place. However, what they did not realize is something that Elizabeth Gilbert talks about in her book Big Magic, which is that everything in life comes with a shit sandwich, so you might as well choose the things you are most passionate about to help wash down that sandwich.
So why am I sharing this story with you? I share it because this memory is what pointed me to my why almost immediately. It helped me look at this relatively traumatic event as a gift, and it revealed to me how important living a creative life was. And so my why became, "I want to help, inspire and support other creatives to step into their fullest potential." It was my why then and remains my why now. Back in 2011, this quickly became the driving force behind everything I did. The amazing thing was that once I landed on my why with clarity, my fear of being creative myself melted away. Every action I took, every experience I created, and every product I developed was fueled by the intention of inspiring other creatives. And you know what else, I began to take rewarding creative risks, I became brave, and for the first time since I was seven dancing in that professional dance class, I felt fulfilled and successful.
Our why drives our decisions; it eventually led me to go back to school to get my coaching certificate. It gives you direction and keeps you and your team focused and motivated even during challenging times, even when facing obstacles and what seems like a never-ending sea of no's.
One thing that I want you to start to notice is that stress pushes and purpose pulls. So if you feel like you are fighting to get your team members motivated or struggling to get your clients to make decisive decisions. It may be time to revisit your why.
On a scale of 1-10, how connected and clear do you feel about your company's why?
How are you currently communicating that why to your team members and clients?