Why Fit In When Your Were Born To Stand Out

I was born an extrovert, comfortable on stage at two and at home with a microphone in hand speaking to an audience of 1000 at eight. As obnoxious as it may sound, being on stage is where I am most comfortable. As I have developed my career, my work has become my stage, where I create, sometimes perform, and constantly reveal who I am and what I can do to the world. Yet, despite having a desire to stand out and share who I am in the world, there have also been times in my career where I have chosen to hide.  

I KNOW SOMETHING IS OFF when I am in 'hiding mode because hiding is not who I really am. When I think about the emotions that lie underneath my hiding, it always feels like shame. It's the same feeling I had when I was seven, and my mother reprimanded me for not washing my hands, telling my sister to shut up, or acting out in dance class by responding to a correction that I did it right.  

This shame and self-doubt usually hit me when I am under stress, heading down a new path, launching a new project, or moving to a new city. But shame is a very damaging emotion. It keeps us small, causes us to procrastinate, and keeps up from being our best selves.  

So why have I and so many others chosen to experience this emotion over and over again? Because it's a habit pure and simple, and as a habit, it is unconscious. But once we shine a light on the pattern and recognize what it is costing us, we can develop the mental fitness tools to make another choice.  

Where do you find yourself hiding in your business?

What is stepping into shame costing you?