How to Train Your Clients
I love dogs. However, I did not become a parent to one until I was 29. I adopted Winnie when she was five and was amazed at how much joy, love, and satisfaction this little white westie brought into my life. As a result, I wanted to do everything to make her life as good as possible.
It began with her diet. As a healthy eater and believer in consuming whole organic foods, I could not justify feeding her processed, unrecognizable mush. So I did the only thing that made sense to me and started cooking for her. At about 12" high, Winnie was about five pounds overweight, a massive amount for such a small dog. So, in addition to her home-cooked meals, exercise was vital, as well as spending quality time and, yes, discipline.
The loving portion of my relationship with my dog relied more heavily on discipline when I adopted the puppy love I have now, Bonnie. Bonnie is a boxer pitbull mix, and I knew people would make assumptions about her based on how she looks. For example, this morning, a man would not get in the elevator with us because he “did not like the look of her”. Little did he know that the only intrusive action she might take would be to try to kiss him aggressively.
So why am I talking about dogs today? Well, over the past several weeks, they have been coming up in a few of my coaching conversations. Some of my clients seem to feel that their businesses and stress levels would improve if they started treating their clients more like they did their dogs. Here is what came up in those conversations.
Playing Fetch: One client told me, " I need to approach client billing the same way I approach a game of fetch with my dog. I don't throw the ball and then sit back, hoping and praying that my dog will retrieve it. No, I throw the ball confidently, knowing he will bring it back to me because I have trained him to do that. I have spent too much time waiting for clients to respond to my invoices, hoping they will please, please, please, pay me for my work.
Patience - "It is impossible to bring a new puppy into your home and not practice patience," another client told me. "Three weeks after bringing our new puppy home, I called the breeder in a panic. 'This is not working,' I told her. 'We are going to have to bring him back.' Luckily, she suggested a dog trainer instead of complying with my request. "
"The trainer taught us that the puppy has no idea how to behave. So our job is to teach him what is ok and what is not. And while we do, he will test the boundaries of what he can get away with."
The same is true for your clients. Even if they have worked with a designer before, the likelihood that your process and approach are identical are slim to none. So it is important to remember that they do not know what you expect of them. You have to teach them how to behave, communicate and respond, and remember, they will test your boundaries to see what they can get away with.
Persistence - You cannot teach a dog to sit once and expect him to do it again on command three weeks later. It takes consistent practice and persistence to learn what is expected of him. The same is true of your clients.
Many people come to me telling me stories that begin with something like, "It's in our contract, so I don't get why I have to keep repeating myself!"
I have news for you folks, and you will not like it, but your clients may be worse than your puppies on this one. You can not tell them or write out what is expected of them once and expect them to comply. You have to remind them repeatedly if you want to see a change in their behavior.
Presence - Presence is critical when teaching and implementing a new habit or behavior. My dog Bonnie has taught me this on more than one walk. Walking her on a leash was a nightmare when I first adopted her. She would either drag me dog the street or stop me so quickly in my tracks that she almost pulled my arm out of its socket. But after practicing patience and persistence with my training, I am happy to tell you that Bonnie is now a model leash walker. That is until I am no longer present. As soon as I start flipping through my phone, take a call, or start listening to an audiobook on a walk, she starts darting around on the leash the same way she did when she was a puppy. It is as if she knows I am no longer paying attention and uses the opportunity to turn back time and revert to old behaviors.
The same is true for your clients. Think about it. Whenever you feel stressed and run around like a chicken without a head, you are everywhere but the present moment. When you live in the past and beat yourself up for things that went wrong, you judge and shame yourself, causing your confidence and your client's confidence in you to erode. In contrast, living in the future and thinking about everything you need to get done causes anxiety and makes your clients feel you don't have time for their projects. And so what happens? They revert to old behaviors to either regain your attention or prove you are not up for the job.
They Need To Know That You Are The Boss - One of the first things a dog trainer will often do when dealing with a puppy misbehaving is the same thing their mother would, grab them by the scruff and hold them until they submit. Once the dog knows you are in charge, they become confident, relaxed, and will follow you wherever you lead them. I experienced this with my dog Bonnie and would not have believed it if I did not see it with my own eyes. Dogs need discipline, and sometimes it can feel forceful, but it is what they need to be healthy and happy functioning animals.
The same is true for your clients. When you can step into the expert's shoes and demonstrate that you've got this, the client relaxes, begins to trust you, and the process goes more smoothly. Sometimes letting your client know that you are the expert can make you feel uncomfortable and like you are pushing too hard, but it shifts the power dynamic, allowing you to do your job.
What might change if you could train your clients like your dog?
What is one thing you can do this week to ignite that change?